I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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