Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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