But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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