I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
