I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
last night I used snow as a chaser
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
