Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I should be sponsored by Trojan
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
