any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
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It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
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whose ass print is on the piano?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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