All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Mom said you looked used
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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