There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
