I'm jealous of your bromance
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
