Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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