is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
