It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
