You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
