i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
