Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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