But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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