it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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