if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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