My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
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He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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