I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
