If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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