Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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