lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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