Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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