I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
