I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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