i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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