whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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