youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
