How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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