I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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