One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize