Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
