Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Something like a penis light saber.

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  (313): They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary. (313): Something like a penis light saber. http://tfl.nu/96lm
  Replies (12) Good night (2064) Bad night (469)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think

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  (202): if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think http://tfl.nu/ufei
  Replies (30) Good night (1396) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.

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  (661): I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special. http://tfl.nu/zosx
  Replies (24) Good night (3390) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors

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  (402): I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors http://tfl.nu/ajt6
  Replies (8) Good night (4887) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.

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  (914): i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar. http://tfl.nu/zfa3
  Replies (12) Good night (4538) Bad night (620) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap

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  (845): Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap http://tfl.nu/797p
  Replies (19) Good night (718) Bad night (3767) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.

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  (908): this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up. http://tfl.nu/ay5l
  Replies (33) Good night (1189) Bad night (5103)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship

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  (954): Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship http://tfl.nu/znld
  Replies (8) Good night (1254) Bad night (3544) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?

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  (617): so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic? http://tfl.nu/c421
  Replies (60) Good night (1195) Bad night (6717) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.

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  (+44): She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them. http://tfl.nu/h4ql
  Replies (12) Good night (3610) Bad night (1156) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it

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  (973): I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it http://tfl.nu/vptm
  Replies (7) Good night (3494) Bad night (1448) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  It's never too late to be topless.

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  (614): It's never too late to be topless. http://tfl.nu/ybgn
  Replies (11) Good night (2838) Bad night (741) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?

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  (814): I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls? http://tfl.nu/unf7
  Replies (8) Good night (1539) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.

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  (865): So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall. http://tfl.nu/00be
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.

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  (305): No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen. http://tfl.nu/b2oj
  Replies (5) Good night (425) Bad night (93) Order T-Shirt

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