oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one