Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911