Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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