i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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