Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
