yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize