i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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