your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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