Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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