i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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