I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
