you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize