this boner is exhausting
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize