if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
