My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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