it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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