Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
