your room smells of hookers.
And success
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
