i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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