by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize