yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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