you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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