i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
