her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
