i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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